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What have I learned, who am I as an educator, and what’s next? These three questions postulated within the prompt for our final e-portfolio prompt have been on my mind since December 3rd, the final day of my practicum for EDUC 491. What an experience.

I have learned a seemingly indescribable amount of things throughout this experience. However, if I was to focus on the major themes, I have learned much regarding the ebb and flow between classroom management, and student connection. I feel confident in the direction my assessment skills are developing, my ability to create positive connections with a variety of students, as well as how my understanding of, and preparedness for readjusting in scaffolding has continued to grow.

I also learned that my perseverance and grit are able to sustain me through challenges I had not given them credit for. I am learning how to claim my voice as a professional, and the line between constructive and close-minded is becoming increasingly defined. I am getting more and more confident in incorporating feedback and suggestions given by my colleagues without feeling the need to defend what I already know, marking each instance as an opportunity to learn from and build off of regardless of situational tone. I have known for a long time that a variety of teaching styles are qualitatively good. What I am learning is how to read between sometimes present lines, and see the value of the knowledge present beyond the criticism.

I have also come to a deeper understanding of my own need for community within my career. I thrive on positive collaboration, and participating in such collaboration with like minded colleagues has been both overtly, and meta-cognitively rewarding. This also largely represents the core of who I am as an educator; Namely, collaborative. I see Education truly as an industry of people. A collective of learners each contributing in some way to the ongoings of school life. Myself, I will always prioritize collaboration with optimistic, open-minded, and continuously growing professionals within the field. That is who I am.

As far as what comes next, I have some things to consider. Likening it to a Tolkien riddle, I am looking for the answer for who to speak with to come to terms with what I feel regarding the directions that lay ahead. If that seems convoluted, good. It is supposed to. The truth is, I do not know what is next. I have answers I need to find for myself, scars I need to mend, and connections I need to find, before I can provide an honest answer. What I know for sure, is that whatever it is, it’s going to be my decision.

Friday, September 24th, our cohort attended a Professional Learning opportunity to begin the week orientating ourselves towards Truth and Reconciliation. It began with a wonderful land acknowledgement which included a newly developed song which was drummed and sung. Then we were told a story about Creator and his trials in finding someone to protect Mother Earth. Afterwards, we listened to a keynote speaker talk about their experiences with success, and breaking the chain of inter-generational trauma.

Dr. Dustin Louie spoke in the next seminar which I attended. Our group had broken up since the first session and was allowed to select between four rooms which each had different sessions. Dr. Louie spoke about thoughts he has been having regarding reconciliation, and how to mitigate the dichotomy which still largely exists between Indigenous peoples/allies, and lingering colonial worldviews. One thing that really resonated with me was his articulation of the difference between cultural ways and colonial practices. I think that is a very important degree of separation that many people who feel challenged by the idea of reconciliation likely have yet to bridge.

Moving forward into practicum, I really appreciate having that articulation to bring to my lessons and discussions regarding reconciliation. Dr. Louie is an incredibly powerful speaker, and I very much enjoy listening to his ideas. Today was very stimulating for a growth mindset dedicated to fostering powerful alliance with Canada’s First Peoples.

Thank you.

EDUC 441 was a course focused on “Innovative and Community Based Approaches” for education. We were instructed by Shirley Giroux who quickly became a cohort-wide favorite due to her friendly and approachable personality as well as her wealth of knowledge which was quick to present itself as we made our way into the course content. Moreover, during “office hour” conversations via zoom she very early on expressed a well rounded understanding of students with exceptionalities, and showcased this through a “show, don’t tell” method that left me feeling very supported. I felt very familiar and at home with this course due to my focus in anthropology, which I felt complimented my experience in the class overall very well. 

Shirley displayed an admirable degree of adaptability in her execution of the course. Due to some speed bumps that presented themselves after the condensing of the timeline, we were feeling extremely overwhelmed with the expectations in parallel to the available time we had to meet expectations. Shirley was one of most of our instructors who was happy to make accommodations to her syllabus in order to reduce the output while achieving the course targets. Not only this, but she was also exceptional at being able to provide clear and concise checklists of the work we were expected to produce for her. This helped me substantially with managing my schedule and keeping everything organised which I was extremely grateful for.

The course work we did had a strong emphasis on collegiality and group work, as well as a focus on student voice within the lessons. We were all encouraged to participate and contribute our ideas during class discussion which I found really facilitated a fluid experience overall. I really enjoyed being involved in discussions regarding the various ways that different levels and entities within the communal sphere can interact in positive ways with the learners who share that space. I really look forward to approaching my career with an intentional focus on community involvement and engagement. Ultimately, I think one of the most positive and healthy things that students can come away from any level of school feeling is a deeper understanding of the connections they have to their community, and which they would like to invest their time in.

Education 402: Diverse Classrooms, was a class that we took as a cohort during Block 4. It was instructed by Dr. Gretchen Vogelsang, who is widely regarded as the living angel of the program. As with the courses we have had previously with her, she brought a level of organisation, understanding, empathy, and grace to her learning space which I think was very much needed at the time. Gretchen has an ability to make coursework feel so personal, and challenging, yet overwhelmingly rewarding, and this remained true in my experiences with this course too.

As the name of the course suggests, the primary focus of study was looking at the various dynamics created within classrooms by any number of contributing factors. As professionals, one of the best things we can begin to develop is a flexibility to adapt to the needs of the learners in our space. For this reason, much of the activities in the class focused on using various lenses to see potential structures, decisions, plans, etc., which may work well or need to be modified based on the needs of the group. We spent much of our time in groups discussing procedural steps to an inclusive classroom we were creating, during which we were encouraged to be creative in our uses of technology – something that made my heart very happy as I finally got to talk about quantum teleportation.

The final project for this course was actually a synthesised project between 402 and 401. We were instructed to produce and present a “capstone” project representative in some way of our life and goal as a professional; Essentially it was “where did I come from?” “Where am I?” and “Where am I going?” that we were to address. I chose to draw on previous experience in my archaeological work in order to create a metaphor for the system in place to catch students who need help. It resonated strongly with me because I got to tell my own story while presenting, and I got a very powerful response from the panel of judges viewing my presentation.

Together, Sheila and Gretchen played a huge role in the ways I have been able to step outside of my proverbial shell during this past block. They also played a substantial role in contributing to the overall wellness of the cohort in their eagerness to be there for us and to help how they could. I really hope that my career continues to cross paths with these educators, as I know I still have multitudes to learn from them.

Block 4 of the Education program had amongst its roster a course titled EDUC 401: Career Education. The course was instructed by Sheila Monkman, who was able to bring an empathetic nature along with her excited and engaging attitude to create one of the best classes I have ever taken online. Her encouragement, acceptance of our cohort, and availability to meet and discuss questions and ideas outside of class time really helped me to engage and stay on top of requirements through some very difficult times. 

One of the first “A-Ha!” moments that I had during this class was a lot like adding color to a grayscale photo. What was then existing as somewhat of a bitter resentment for the 4 months of “CAPP” that I had taken in high school rapidly (literally within minutes) transformed to an excitement for the leaps forward career education has made since then, but also a childlike wonder as I began to grapple with the notion of career education as a cross curricular subject.

For me, taking any and every opportunity to prepare students, and encouraging students to prepare for the eventuality of their careers is such an important and useful thing that I can do for them. Arriving at the understanding that I can synthesise curricular content of career education into the other classes that I am teaching, like social studies for example, opened my eyes to so many ideas for generating student interest. Now I want to keep thinking about ways of accessing that intrinsic motivation humans achieve as they begin to create connections between real life careers and the content they are being taught in school.

In my experience, Sheila did a remarkable job of presenting relevant content, really pulling it apart, and bringing it back to experience. More than this though, she showcased an awareness of the individualities across the cohort which she used to inform her understanding of us as individuals. She approached meetings outside class time with an open mind and an extremely helpful attitude. Clearly, this course and its instructor have become a positive experience that I will look on with fondness and inquiry for many years to come.

During Block 4 of the program, we were instructed in a course titled “Inclusive Education.” I believe that as a cohort we capitalised as much as possible within the scope of reality on the opportunity to engage with information cited in the course text, as well as secondary articles. Our group shares a strong dynamic and are quite tightly knit together, and I think this allowed us to generate a good amount of conversation during our asynchronous class times. 

We engaged with lesson planning with the focus on identifying and predicting possible inclusions that we may see or be part of creating within the classroom space, worked to create group presentations based on case studies which we were assigned, and collaborated as a group to compile and generate useful notes from lectures. I found the time spent as a group generating conversation to be extremely useful in rounding my understanding of some of the neuro-divergent conditions I was formerly less aware of. There were several of us in class with direct personal experience living with or knowing someone with a wide array of mental and physical health issues, and due to the friendship and connectedness we had developed as a group many of us were able to be open about our knowledge.

Being able to generate safe spaces to share our personal experiences and corroborate evidence with data presented in our readings resulted in at least two things (for myself at least) which in reflection provided very useful experiences. First, and foremost when considering the intended context of the class, the group dialogue generated a lot of real learning which after percolating has resulted in a comfortable feeling of understanding, and many more questions I am excited to ask. Second, it provided us as a cohort with experiences that we are likely to face eventually as professionals, the opportunity to question the feeling of being challenged and to recognise when to speak up.

Coming away from the course, I maintain a fierce passion for tailoring my education towards helping students and staff within my professional space within a counselling capacity. The more I begin to think about it, the more I start to feel a connection with seeking a role within Union work as well. A protective instinct for youth who are suffering in silence is an old quality of mine, however as I make my way through this program with this family I am also rapidly developing a feeling of comradery that is sparking curiosity to the ways I can also work to help my co-workers whom may be in the same position. 

During Block three of the program, the secondary part of our cohort took one of two classes depending on our specialisation in the humanities or sciences. For myself and the rest of the humanities students, we were seated in EDUC 361 which is also titled “Curriculum and Instruction: Secondary Humanities. This was the first in person course for us during the program, which for myself resulted in an interesting mix of anxiety (given the pandemic circumstances) as well as excitement to have a new space common to my “sphere.” 

The course was instructed by Glen Thielmann; one of my favorite educators I have met thus far, and was focused on various avenues that we could pursue as professionals to help our students engage with curricular content. The way the class ended up running was (in my opinion) absolutely spectacular. The atmosphere in the physical space was almost universally calm, organised, and constantly engaging. Typically, we would spend the first half of the class as a group focused on humanities “exclusive” content, and then after lunch we would meet up with the other secondary students in the science focused class and spend the latter half of the day with them and their professor Bonnie Fuller. 

Bonnie quickly became another favorite, and role model for myself as a student both for the ways she expressed her own uniqueness as well as the co-teaching relationship that developed between her and Glen. This was their first time running the course together but the wealth of knowledge each of them brought from various areas of experience combined with an impressive synchronicity between their praxi, created a new space very different in feeling than the first half of class, but equally fantastic in its own ways.

A significant amount of the coursework involved experiential engagement which began to define our understanding of how we as professionals can bring the outdoors to our classrooms. Encouraged to consider a cross curricular approach, we started with activities such as intentional trail walks, sketching activities, etc., and then began incorporating those ideas into group and individual presentations. Something I really appreciated about this experience was that while I felt like I was truly learning, I also felt like the time spent in this course provided a much needed break from the mental taxation of a digital lifestyle.

My four week practicum for EDUC 490 was spent in a Grade 8 Humanities/Social Studies class with a wonderful coaching teacher. This was my second experience in a grade 8 setting, the first of which was in an English class at Shas Ti Secondary. On the whole it was a great experience from which I have learned a lot. The feedback I got from my students about their experience with me, my lessons, and assignments was so validating for me; as were the amazing connections I developed with the class on day 1. As is my norm, I was wearing my toque; my current one has a subtle anime theme to it which resonated deeply with the majority of my class.

I had the opportunity to practice a lot of my skills during these four weeks, and consequently was able to gather much more clarity regarding the areas I can improve the most and the areas which I am currently the best in. Moreover, I was able to spend time evaluating what features of my pedagogy are most important to me, and what I believe to be the most significant ethical considerations I will bring to my praxis. I experienced first hand, more of the joy of helping students see that they can overcome challenges they believe they can’t. I also experienced first hand the crushing heartbreak associated with seeing a student question their worth; I was quite unimpressed with being the catalyst for that.

Throughout my practicum I continued to work on the stretch I identified in my first practicum, namely that my style of thinking is best suited for upper grades. This is not to suggest that it is not something I will continue to work on as hard as I can, however I am sincerely hoping I am allowed to try teaching outside of grade 8 for my last practicum. My most comfortable vocabulary can be challenging for grade 8 students; but this gave me lots of practice identifying and explaining terms I use most (something my CT said I did extremely well by the end). I also identified some other “stretches” that I will be continuing to work on throughout EDUC 491. These include keeping myself in check while planning so that I do not wind up getting stuck in the minor details of lesson planning, getting students to do “more of the work” than myself, and ensuring that my presence maintains their attention long enough to deliver instructions clearly.

I was also able to identify some more of my strengths during this practicum. I have found that I am very good at getting students to believe in themselves, even when challenges seem too difficult initially. For example, my first lesson began with a class of sceptical students thinking this crazy young adult was expecting them to learn complex Japanese, to a classroom of students who believed they had the skills to play with the Katakana syllabary in order to translate simple words, and their names into a legible type of written and spoken Japanese. We produced name tags for everyone with student translations, and some students extended themselves to writing their own haiku’s in Katakana script. I felt amazing delivering a lesson that inspired the entire class to select their own unique topic and create an informative brochure about it, from samurai to yokai.

The primary form of feedback I received from students during my conversations with them one on one, where I would often ask if they felt I could do anything to make their experiences better, was that they really appreciated how approachable I was. Students told me I was one of the least intimidating teachers they had encountered, which was really reassuring to me because intimidating is the last thing I ever want to be. This also creates a uniquely difficult skill to develop for myself, namely finding that “presence” that commands attention without intimidation. I was certainly getting much better with this closer to the end of my practicum, and I have spent a good deal of time considering how to establish that much earlier on in my next practicum.

If I was to identify one of the “best” and one of the “worst” parts of my practicum, I would have to start with the “best,” by mentioning the Jeopardy game I did for a unit test. This was the best memory I have, as the students truly enjoyed themselves, used competition to focus and learn, and LOVED the prizes I had made/brought in. This was the unit test for The Renaissance, and was composed of 50 questions ranging from simple true/false, to difficult single detail questions which had the students laughing at their absurdity. I kept score and awarded each of the four teams a price based on their scores, from 1st to 4th. Every single student in the class thanked me for doing this, and I could really tell they felt relief from blowing off the steam.

The unfortunate “worst” part of my practicum ended on an amicable note, but still broke my heart. The first day I was allowed to be in class to observe, etc., after completing a formal lesson plan, one of the students who had a more difficult time in school largely due to issues of anxiety, etc. She recognised my toque, and was familiar with the anime. She got so excited because for her this registered as a reason to see me as trustworthy and approachable. Not to mention, she had extreme issues of self image, and seeing a professional wearing a toque to work was doing a lot to help her feel comfortable wearing a hat as well. After asking me if my hat was from the anime it was from, she divulged to me that toques make her feel safe, but that she gets made fun of for wearing them. I responded by saying “as far as feeling more safe, I understand that completely” and I tapped my toque to show why. I also told her that she should never let herself feel hurt by what others think of the way she dresses.

I told her that slowly, but surly, the world is changing. There was once a time when teachers would be hired against for having tattoos, this is no longer the case; surely too there will come a time when the therapy for the individual wearing the toque will be placed before the judgemental social narrative that gaslights people into thinking wearing what makes them feel comfortable somehow makes them “lesser” as a professional or as a human. Unfortunately, she noticed when I stopped wearing my hat every day, and wondered if it was because I had decided I thought they looked silly, like everybody else. Interesting position to arrive at, should I be honest? Should I lie? How do I confidently tell a student that they should be able to dress the way that makes them feel comfortable and safe, when I am, for whatever reason, choosing to dress in a way that does not do so for me?

“World will change, slowly but surely.” I replied, “but until it does, we can also practice being brave. Trust me, it goes back on as soon as I make it to my car.” She laughed quite hard at this, but the lingering feeling felt like a poison. As teachers, I feel like part of our job is to encourage and foster a healthy self image in our students. There is legitimate medical research backing up the psychological alleviation provided for individuals suffering from social anxiety for any number of reasons by the simple constriction of their parasympathetic nervous system; something achieved by the application of a comfortable hat. Especially when we are in a pandemic, and placing an emphatic focus on student mental health, we should be doing whatever we can to encourage healthy habits. Yet I had compromised, and consequently that student questioned, if even for a moment, if they deserved to feel safe and comfortable by wearing their hat too. As teachers we are meant to lead by example as exemplars for truth, and the student saw contradictions. I am fascinated by the complexities of this line, and intend to continue considering them in depth.

This practicum was full of eye opening experiences for me. I learned that I am much more approachable and able to connect to for students than I had once thought. I learned a lot about lesson planning, what I struggle with most about it and how to make that process easier. I also learned specifically how important it is for me to be a force within education striving to ensure that each student maintains a healthy and positive self image. I want to advocate for a society that prioritises psychological well-being above arbitrary and often vain, colonial hierarchies that equate appearance to worth.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to participate in EDUC 490 practicum, for all the help my CT and PE provided me with, in patience, feedback, and understanding. I am also very eager, and excited to take what I have learned in this practicum, and use it to supplement my success in EDUC 491. Hopefully with one of the other 4 available grades at high school, as it would be such a benefit to have a rounded experience coming out of the program, but no matter what I am going to give it my all. I owe it to those who have helped me thus far, those who actually care, and for those who I will teach in the future.

Thank you.